These days my absolute favorite person to follow on Instagram is Will Smith. Recently I heard him talk about how he and Jada were reflecting on love and he asked her what the biggest revelation was that she had concerning love. She stated that the biggest thing she learned was that you can’t make a person happy, you can make a person laugh or feel good, but you cannot make a person happy. This statement was intriguing to me. I wondered how many years of marriage it took for them to figure this out.
It’s interesting to see all these memes going around with different celebrity relationships with the caption “#Goals”. I see pictures of Bobby and Whitney, Will and Jada, Jay Z and Beyoncé, Barack and Michelle, and the list goes on. All have this caption. I sit staring wondering what about this picture could possibly be goals. This is just one second of one moment in their life that they probably even posed for. All we know about their life really is what the media tells us, and the media even shows that these relationships at one or all points were toxic at best. I stare trying to guess whether it’s the way they look at each other with all the love we can imagine or is it how happy they look together. Which void are we trying to fill that we imagine is sitting before us in this picture of strangers? Neither love or happiness are a look and can’t be found in a snapshot.
It then becomes difficult to not equate love or happiness with a spouse. We start to think if I can just find someone who makes me smile like that or looks at me like that, then I’ve got it. I’ll experience love and happiness when I find a guy/girl like that. That’s a set up. We spend so much time searching for something we saw in a picture, or rather, imagined we saw in a picture, when we had access to it ourselves the entire time.
Psalm 144:5 says “Happy are those whose God is the Lord”, and Romans 5:8 states, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Love and happiness are things that can be found in the Lord and not in the media. We get so caught up in looking for what we think should be found in a relationship and start to wonder why our relationship doesn’t look like other relationships we’ve seen. We give up so easily on people because we look for them to fill a void that wasn’t their job to fill in the first place. The only relationship that should really be #Goals is Christ’s relationship with the Church. This is what we should be modeling after. The sooner we stop looking at the world as a blueprint for our lives and realize that Christ has already loved you so much that he sent his only son to die on his behalf and happiness is found in making him and only him Lord over our lives the sooner we’ll find what we’ve been looking for.
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